Outside the comfort zone

It’s only when we do something that challenges us and makes us uncomfortable that we realise how much of the time we wear a mask.

Last night I went to a belly dancing class for the first time in five years. I went along with a neighbour who I suspected (correctly!) to be an excellent dancer. It was a really good class with a lively teacher, but very intense. You suddenly find that you are trying to move your body in ways that you haven’t for years. You don’t just need to observe the instructor, replicate moves and be graceful. You are also meeting group of people for the first time .You are exposing yourself to humiliation. There is no brain capacity left to try and look poised. So instead you giggle like an idiot.

But as the class progressed I relaxed and rather than resisting tried to engage with the experience. I’ve no doubt I’ll humiliate myself again next week but I’m going back. And I’ve also no doubt that no one is the class was really looking at me because they were all too busy thinking about them. In a few weeks I won’t even be thinking about whether I look stupid to the other people in the group because I’ll be too busy thinking about dancing.

Doing things that scare you are good. It’s very easy to try to construct a persona and try to ensure that you do nothing that will expose any flaws. This is nonsense – life is unpredictable. You can’t stop change. You don’t have to like it but you will have to live with it one way or another. If you can live with it and laugh then you’re on your way. Queen of the Universe that you are at the centre of.

I remember reading somewhere that generally it’s better to do something than not. It doesn’t matter if you do it and end up feeling stupid and ‘failing’. Our brains tend towards the optimistic so you will find a way of finding something positive about the experience. If you don’t do something then all you can do is regret the lost opportunity because it might have turned out ok after all.

Join the evening class. Request a vegan meal. Cook something you’ve never tried before. At the very worse you’ll have a funny story to tell about the time you tried Salsa, or argued with a chef or burnt salad.