The art of camouflage

We’re often told that people don’t really pay very much attention to us. They’re too busy thinking about themselves. Although we like the idea of this we tend to not believe it because if we did we’d have to admit that we’re not the centre of the universe.

This week has had some excellent examples of this.

First I managed to tuck my skirt into my knickers and then proceeded to walk around like this for abut three hours before anyone told me. This means that either they thought my skirt was supposed to look like that or they simply didn’t notice me or my skirt.

Yesterday I wore my very bright neon ballet pumps to the office. I thought they stood out and actually began to think what I might say if anyone commented on their vividness. Not a single soul commented all day.

Today a friend came in and asked if I was wearing the shoes as she had read about them on my blog. A few other colleages then passed comment. But they had all been here yesterday and hadn’t even noticed.

I then read Doe Deer’s Blogazine where she tackles the issue of people being treated negatively or even physically attacked because they dress in a way that is not perceived to be the ‘norm’.

It’s clear that there are some people out there paying very careful attention.

I don’t like the thought of being invisible or of being attacked. It does make me think that people really do make up their minds within seconds of meeting you for the first time.

I’ve realised that I tend to play down bright and more eccentric elements when I first start a job or meet people. Then I decide how much of me to let out. It makes me sad to realise I do this and I suppose it’s a survival technique learnt at school.

I know did this last week. I can feel myself leaning towards doing the same thing at the UK Lady bloggers meet up. I’m thinking about what they will wear and how I can fit in.

Maybe I need to work at being me a bit harder and spend less time on camouflage.

As a further morsel of food for thought there’s been some discussion on Academichic recently about who you dress for, if you dress as the real you and whether the way you dress has an impact on how people treat you.

In the year to come

I’ve tried various approached to new year resolutions over the years, but I’ve never really found one that I was happy with. India knight provided me with the reason in this marvellous piece from The Sunday times .
Basically we change when we are ready and not just because it is the first day of the year. I also think that we need to practice making changes. We try to make a change and fail and then maybe try a dozen times or more before we are ready to actually make the change because by then we’ve found a way to work with it.

So I am not making resolutions this year. Instead I have put below a list of things that I may or may not do this year. Ideas, dreams and maybes. The important thing is that I have written them down so that when I am ready to do something or make a change I already have thoughts about what it could be.

Do the 2009 Moonwalk; Learn how to listen; dress like a rock chick; Grow vegetables; Plant raspberries; Get a tattoo; Learn 10 songs on the bass; Take singing lessons; Refashion rather than buy; Restock my etsy store; Clear out everything from cookbooks to coat pockets to cupboards; Finally get rid of the last boxes that came from my parent’s house; think positive; Do NaNoWriMo; Make a crazy quilt; Adopt an older person; Learn to raise one eyebrow; Comment on more blogs; Book a foraging course; Decide what to do with prettylittleparcels.co.uk; Write more letters; Organise photographs; Buy an album every month; Research my family tree; Take moments to just breathe.

My week off

I had a week off work last week. I’m very bad at using leave. Normally if I have a week off I spend the entire time trying to have a ‘proper rest’. The issue is that I’m not sure what I mean by a proper rest. Do I mean sitting and doing nothing? Curling up on the sofa with a cup of tea and book? Meditating? Having cleared all the jobs on my list?

I never know what time to get up. Should I set a time for each day? Or force myself to go back to sleep? Should I go to bed later then usual?

I always come up with a ridiculous job list. Just like I always pack loads of paperwork to do on long journeys and then don’t bother to look at it. Just have the joy of moving it from A to B and back again.

So last week in change from the norm I was busy all day every day. I got up just after Dear Heart had left for work. Then I had breakfast. On a couple of days I went to my allotment first thing. On other days I stayed at home. Apart form clearing out the pantry none of the things I id were really major projects. Just day-to-day stuff like doing loads of washing, going through bank statements and washing the recycling boxes.

In between I relined my winter coat, hennaed my hair and packaged up all the Christmas gifts I have bought so far. I stopped for tea breaks and lunch breaks now and then, making sure I really enjoyed sitting down with my book and something warming for a quarter of an hour or so.

I didn’t plan my week to be like this it was just the way it turned out. But I didn’t feel exhausted or panicky or that I should have been making better use of my time once. I enjoyed being in the moment and undertaking the tasks I was doing.

My conclusion is that I don’t do very well at taking things easy. I like to be busy. My grandmother used to say that she was not made to be a lady of leisure. I found that I was so keen to get on with things that I didn’t want to go to bed. But I made myself go so that I could get a good start in the morning.

I’ve also often found that I snack all the time when I am on leave. Not so this time. I assume it was a combination of being occupied (and not bored) and stopping for regular breaks.

Strangely though I was less interested in looking at the Internet. I didn’t post here apart from the first day. I used twitter a lot less. I didn’t check any of the blogs that I regularly visit. I did use my computer in the evenings to type my nanowrimo instalments

I’m going to try and apply this process of getting up early and having lots of small tasks to do during the Christmas break. If it proves to be effective I should start January feeling fabulous.

Froth on the Cappuccino

I'm having one of those great weeks where you keep discovering new things. I can't walk around the library without finding armfuls of stuff I want to read. I love discovering new authors. I've also found a load of new blogs that I've added to my bookmarks. It's tricky to know if a blog will be a continuing pleasure. sometimes bloggers cease to blog or they begin to write about topics that you're not very interested in. We'll have to wait and see.

One of the books I picked up to enjoy was Froth on the Cappuccino: how small pleasures can save your life by Maeve Haran. I've read this kind of book before. It's the same kind of thing as Wear More Cashmere: 151 Luxurious Ways to Pamper Your Inner Princess. What marred my enjoyment was the way in places the book seemed to encourage wastefulness (e.g. clutter so that you can declutter and then clutter again). Where green suggestions were made they were often followed by very non-green ideas. For example, a piece on the joys of recycling was followed by one on the joys of takeaway coffee in a styrofoam or cardboard cup with plastic lid. the section on 'buying yourself flowers' did mention fake flowers, but cold have gone further by suggesting that you buy them during the winter when real flowers are imported or grown in hot houses. Just because supermarkets sell cheap flowers doesn't make it right to buy them.

Maybe I'm taking it a little too seriously.

Clothing I bought in 2007

1. 1 pair tights - following boot sole crisis - new


2. 2 pair socks (came as a two pack) - for the moonwalk with lovely padded bottoms - new


3. Gold shoes (for hen party) - second hand


4. Thongs (sandal type things, not knickers) - secondhand


5. Boots - from Bourgeois Boheme - new


6. Necklace - From the Vintage Fair - new


7. Jeans - From Oxfam. Old ones had actually worn out. - secondhand


8. Sequined dress - Christmas party dress crisis - new


9. Black velvet dress - Further panic over Christmas party - new

I didn't think I'd actually bought that much, but listed here it seems like lots. Also the ratio of new to secondhand was 2:1. I'm going to try and make it less then 9 items this year. However, I must confess I bought a new dress today. This is a further consequence of Christmas party panic. I saw the dress prior to Christmas and when I saw the price was much reduced bought it.

I'm going to buy less in 2008. Surely I must have everything I need...

No longer blue

I'm happy to report that I've solved my BSOD problem. I learned a lot more about my laptop and computers on my journey there and felt so satisfied when I resolved things.

So often in life we don't take care of things or notice them until they stop working. I hope I can pay more attention to the things that help my life to run smoothly. The old saying 'A stitch in time saves nine' is still relevant.

Mother's Day

I was a creative little bunny for mother's day this year. My original plan to cook dinner from my Mum at my house was out. My Grandmother was visiting near where my parent's live and was going to drop by.

Following a chat with my sister and my Dad we moved the cooking to my parent's kitchen with input from sister, Dad, me and Dear Heart.

I made this card for my mum making use of some magazines I was about to throw out. I just love the 'Mum' spelt in jeans on the back.

I made couple of present bags this week. One with a present for my grandmother in it (bath bombs) and one for Dear Heart's sisters birthday. I find that I'm really busy as the moment. Particularly as a result of all the time I'm spending on Moonwalk training. I think I might have to reconsider the targets I am setting myself while I'm spending time on training. I also need to sort out in my head all the books I've read about not spending, how evil supermarkets are, how cheap proper food can be and quality of life. I'm sure they all tie together but I'm getting bit tangled up in all the principles at present. Anyway, here are the bags. Enjoy the cute green signature hearts on the backs (reminds me of the care bears!).

I'm off to try and wind up my ever growing job list, eat more carbs (lots of walking means I now have to wear a belt with my jeans to get them to stay up to a decent point!) and get my head together!

P.S. I cannot believe that 2 weeks have passed since my last entry. I will try harder to blog at least once a week, particularly during busy (and therefore interesting) times.